Why do I do this to myself? I feel like I’m overreacting, I think I might be, fuck it I don’t know. Tomorrow I hope I feel better about the situation. Do I have a right to be mad? I really don’t know. I need sleep but it’s not coming. My head won’t shut up. I’m moving way to fast and I’m growing strong emotions way too soon. This fucking sucks, I feel like I’m lost and even though people are trying to help it’s not making anything better. Why does it seem like all the things I want are bad for me in the end? This seems to always happen to me, am I just meant to be alone? I want experience so I can know how to handle this, but I never seem to get a chance. I was so happy yesterday and now I’m lower then sad. In life we make choices but those choices do have effects. Good or bad they impact us making us into the people we are today.. It just sucks that right now in the present that is all we have is what we know now. I wish I knew what was coming. I wish things will get better. Just when I start to feel happy, something happens and it gets worse. But always after the worst possible thing, something happens and things get better. It sucks how that’s how life works shitty then good then shitty again. Ugh I just hope I’m not being used which I feel like I’m too blind to see that I probably am being used. I will not be that person again. I’m stronger then I once was and I will never be who I was. Like a quote from one of my favorite songs,”I guess this is growing up”. And growing up is the challenge I face.